Modesty: a virtue for all seasons

Sacraments are outward signs of inward realities.

The signs, in and of themselves, are just pieces of business: A bishop’s touch on a young person’s cheek, a bit of oil applied, a quantity of water poured. In the context of sacrament, though, these acts take on great meaning for us. The meaning has such depth, however, that no one comprehends it fully.

In the context of sacrament, Jesus asks for faith, not mere understanding; trust, not half-heartedness.

This writing is about modesty, high on the list of misunderstood virtues these days. In our society, modesty is scoffed at. It is the subject of chuckles.

Have I been immodest? Yes. I say so plainly. Let there be no intimation that I come speaking from some sacrosanct perspective. Neither let there be any thought that I sit in the judgment seat. I sit beside you in the pew.

So straight to the heart of the matter: Modesty is not a sacrament; but it is an outward sign of an inward grace: the grace God gives us to love our neighbor.

Modesty occurs in thought, word and deed. But mostly we think of it in terms of the way we dress. No matter how much we are led to believe otherwise on TV, in magazines, newspapers, and elsewhere prevalent in our environments, dressing publicly to enhance, rather than to subdue, our sexuality is immodest.

The rationales for immodesty are legion, hammered at, reinforced, repeated constantly from all sides. Some common ones: “I’m not trying to turn anybody on, I’m just trying to keep cool.” “People distracted by scant clothing simply have dirty minds.” “Everyone knows how we’re built. It’s no secret anyway.” “Why should I dress like a nun?” “The prudes like to force their values on everyone else.” You know the litany.

I’m convinced that immodesty in dress has gotten to the point where people just don’t think about in anymore. People don’t realize they’re being immodest. More seriously, it has become deeply ingrained in some people that modesty is actually something ridiculous, a throwback, just dumb.

However, the truth is, that modesty, like a sacrament, says on the outside who we are on the inside. That doesn’t mean an immodest exterior bespeaks an evil interior. It does mean though, in the very least, that right-thinking is not happening within.

As with a sacrament, we cannot fully comprehend all that it means, we cannot fully appreciate all the effects of our modesty. Indeed, I suspect that most of our immodesty affects people we don’t know, people we don’t see who see us.

It’s also not their fault that they are affected. If I shoot you with a gun, is it your fault that you wretch in pain? If I call you a blockhead, is it your fault that you are offended? Yet by not shooting others, not insulting others, have I affected people I don’t know, people I haven’t seen? Of course. My restraint, my obedience to God’s law written in my heart, allows my neighbors to move about in peace.

In the same way, I am not free to assault the sensibilities of my neighbors, to attract them sexually, publicly.

In the last analysis, I may not understand all the ramifications of this virtue the Master asks me to practice. But in faith and in love for Him and my neighbor, His still, small voice is very clear about modesty. He has not modified His expectations to beat the heat.

written by Thomas A. Russell
first published in the Lafayette Sunday Visitor in July of 1986